The Goldman Sachs Geniuses
Our pal Lloyd Blankfein, CEO of good ol’ Goldman Sachs, paragon of Wall Street ethical standards, came out with a real doozy at the Goldman Sachs annual meeting recently . . . “Questions have been raised that go to the heart of this institution’s most fundamental value: HOW WE TREAT OUT CLIENTS.”
Lloyd, as my daughter would say, “uh Duh” (duh being a two or sometimes three syllable word). On the one hand, it’s good that you seem to have caught on to this. On the other hand what the hell did you expect? Where have you been hiding? Is your pool so deep, your mansion so big you got lost in it? We keep hearing about how brilliant you and your greedy bastard minions are, how you created these incredibly complex, arcane investment vehicles but you’re only finally beginning to realize that THE WHOLE WORLD IS PISSED OFF AT YOU? And that NOBODY TRUSTS YOU? Well, except, of course, your pal John Paulson who led you by your dollar sniffin’ nose to build some investment vehicles guaranteed to pay billions, not millions or hundreds of millions, but BILLIONS, for him and for you and Goldman as long as you kept pumping out the crap that you knew was going to fail.
Lloyd pal, remember Wamu? Used to be a pretty big bank. Remember how you pushed and pushed and pushed it on investors who TRUSTED YOU to lead them down the prudent or at least not impudent path while you and your boys were betting that it would fail? Remember what happened? IT FAILED, Lloyd, it FAILED like that hair transplant you thought was gonna make you cute to the girls by the watercooler, FAILED like Tiger walking past a checkout girl at the local Piggly Wiggly, FAILED like a bank who had too many toxic mortgages to survive.
And you’re just catching on that you’re losing the trust of your clients? This might all be laughable if there weren’t pension funds and charitable organizations who were foolish enough, or naive enough to trust you and your ilk. But it’s not laughable, is it? It’s disgusting and pathetic and terrifying if you have all your hard earned retirement funds in a pension that is on the brink of failure. You SCREWED your clients, Lloyd, so that you could get yourself a bigger pool or another house or Mercedes or whatever the hell you guys spend all that money on.
Sandy Weill, your fatcat genius partner in crime once said he expected to be remembered the way Andrew Carnegie is remembered, as a captain of American industry! But Carnegie built something, he built a company, US Steel, that helped physically build this country. You, and Sandy have built NOTHING, have accomplished nothing for the development of this country besides stuffing your five thousand dollar suits with bills. You have been a drain on the lifeblood of this country.
Everyone realizes this, Lloyd, where the hell have you been hiding?
Wall Street Sux!
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